Sanitary Napkin

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Happy Holidays

I know it’s early, but I have trouble restraining myself when this special time of year is upon us.  This is the time of year to be thankful for all the shit we don’t have, because, damnit, there’s so many sorry bastards who got it worse than us.  That’s right, its suicide season.  Now, I know there are plenty of Scrouges out there that want to ruin this time for all of us, but gosh darn it, we wont let them will we!

Wishing you a Happy Suicide Season from all of us as Sanitary Napkin

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Gossip

Man, word sure travels fast.  Who told you?

That Jamie is quite the gossip.

No, you don’t know her, she goes to Essex High.

Ya, she’s pretty cute.  At least Jamie has good taste.

That’s a lie and you know it!  She’ll have her driver’s license long before I go on social security!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

John Henry Donner is a Moron

Today I received one of the oldest and most ridiculous of all internet scams. And it’s not even a real scam, like the ones that try to take your money or hijack your computer. All this thing does is perpetuate itself through the newly online elderly and the clinically retarded. Here is an excerpt from the email:

For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you$245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoftwill pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You willbe paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for youraddress and then send you a check.

It was forwarded to me by one John Henry Donner and the moron is in college, our college. Below is my reply to Mr. Donner.


Dear John Henry Donner,

I would like to inform you that you are not only a retarded piece of shit, but you are an ass hole to boot. There is no excuse for this level of stupidity. If you believe that Bill Gates is going to pay you two hundred dollars for every time you forwarded that message, you should not be in college. You shouldn’t have even passed grade school. You then proceeded to forward said message too random people in the UVM directory. At least the people in your contacts list (if there are any) were foolish enough to make your acquaintance, I made no such error. If you email me again I will nail your freshmen testicles to the freshmen dorms and burn them with a freshmen's clove cigarette.

Yours Truly,

Matt


If you would like to contact Mr. Donner yourself and express your distain for him and his kind (gullible dicks), you can reach him at John.Donner@uvm.edu